The Peace Treaty of Silence at War

The world has hurt me tremendously, so I run from it and sit in silence.
My mom tries to tell me there is peace, but in my mind there is violence.
It seems as if mankind is in a movement, and I refuse to stand behind it.
And if I've ever lived a life of prosperity and serenity, please God,
can I rewind it?

I feel the universe, as if everything is a bullet that has pierced me.
My momma tells me to please smile and be cheery,
but momma the world has hurt me severely,
and that is why I yell at people to not come near me,
and why I fight so hard, and my tears deep.

I wonder, if this will ever be worth it.
If the love I feel for my brothers and sisters, will ever have a purpose.
Every day I take on the world, as if it is a beach and I am a tsunami current.
God, if there is anyone that deserves a smile, I think I have earned it.

This world holds a path, a forest I have not explored.
I search within myself, as if there is an answer in my inner core.
My emotions are the heat of an Arizona Summer, and every one's heart is an Arctic Tundra, a winter storm.
I ask God, why do I seek so much peace, if inside of me,
there is a war?

The story of the man that stands silent,
the only human, that wishes to be like the rest, careless and mindless.
whom sits in the chair of life, and dreams to recline it.
The boy of pain, who sees the shadows and scars as timeless,
who wishes he could be God, not for the lust or the power,
but so he could recreate himself,
and edit his mind, perhaps redesign it.
I ask God, for an answer as my eyes open in hopeful enlightenment,
"Relax homie. Just for tonight, maybe wine is."